Busy Being Born

Sammi 3.1.13

Is the title of the song I listen to when I feel like giving up. I don’t feel that way as much as I used to. While attending school I wondered what all the struggle was for: just to raise a family in the suburbs somewhere?

As I grow older and all my friends start families, it actually makes me feel good to know that i’ve accomplished something: I’ve avoided knocking up a woman and being tied to her forever. I know a lot of women who use their children to make the father’s life harder; and I know a lot of fathers who have no interest in being a part of their children’s life.

Its like, as time went on I began to realize: I wasn’t alone, I was independant. You helped me see a lot of that. I’m not saying I want to be like any one person, but I always wanted to be like you. I’m sure you envisioned a better life for yourself, but I liked that you were an older dude living in a short bus. Like “Fuck the world, I’m doing it Tchaka’s way.” Also you are so skillful at carpentry, auto mechanics, and art. If I were a girl, I’d have fallen head over heels for you. I mean, I do have a bro crush, but bro crushes are platonic, which is why they call them bro crushes.

You’re still with me, always. When I wake up and blare “busy being born” in my headphones, guitars giving me the energy to smash through the walls of shit that surround me daily; and when I turn all the music off and listen to the sound of the woods and watch my baby girl sniffing, sniffing all around, exploring every new possibility.